Cleansing Comfort and Renewal: A Two-Shot
by vulpixfairy
Summary: Arthur suffers a recurring illness on the 4th of July, his lover's birthday and is determined not to let Alfred know. But when he succumbs to a painful moment of weakness, will he let Alfred into his heart and to help him fully heal from the past demons? YAOI, USUK established relationship and human and country names used. Inspired by song 'All I Know'. Pls read and review :)
1. Memories from the Past

**Author's notes:** It's been a loooong time since I've written fanfiction…how time passes by so quickly. I've started a new job and it really made me busy. Anyway, I just happened to watch a lot of Hetalia and the one episode that really struck a chord within me was the one where America attempting to clean his storage room. But the segment that really made my heart ache was The Revolutionary War. How it was portrayed is a matter of debate and personal opinion but the story within the episode really touched me and I wanted to write about it. And then I found the drama USUK CD tracks on Youtube and it somehow progressed in a yaoi story, what a way to submit for my first Hetalia fic. But I hope you guys will enjoy it.

This story was also created when I was listening to 'All I Know' while I was sorting out my playlists for my IPhone. I thought that this song fits perfectly to the relationship dynamic England and America have in brotherly or lovers sense. In my head, it makes sense that their love was born from pain. I thought by far the version by Five For Fighting was the best suited to listen when I was writing this (But the Simon and Garfunkel version is still so lovely to listen to!)

Another heartfelt note, thank you to all who still read my stories. I really appreciate it! It really makes my day when I get an email of one of my stories become favourites or when you choose to track my progress despite my slow end :) Thank you so much!

**Story notes:** The words in Italics are to indicate song lyrics as well as narrating a flashback and the flashback characters are referred by their country names rather than their human names (which are used in the present timeframe of the story). And I have a feeling that this plot may have been overused in this section especially for this pairing but I've written this to get it off my head otherwise it will haunt me forever! I hope you enjoy tho!

**Update on 3/2/2013:** I just changed the title and fixed some grammar mistakes here and there. Also changed minor bits but nothing to affect the overall storyline.

**Warning!:** This story DOES contain YAOI and sappy angst. OOC may be present…I'm writing these characters according to how I see them. If you don't like, please turn back and save yourself from giving a flamer about it. The SMUTTINESS comes in the second part but you will need to be patient…I will post it…eventually…

**Disclaimer:** Everything that is and about Hetalia by Hidekaz Himaruya and the song 'All I Know' don't belong to me. I only thought of the plot and this is written for my writing satisfaction If Hetalia did belong to me, I would make America count sheep for me so that I can go to sleeeeep…I need a hero!

* * *

**Painful Memories from the Past**

Arthur always loved going in Alfred's back garden whenever he had a chance to visit the former colony's home. It was lush and beautiful, which reminded him of the rolling green hills of the English countryside back home. Right now, it was night time and he could hear muffled chatter going on inside the house. He huffed with a wry grin when he made out Alfred's excited laughter among the riff-raff going on inside. The elder nation didn't really do well with big crowds and he was not keen to watch Francis serenading the guests or he trying to hump him in the crowd. Wanting to give Alfred the chance to mingle around, he had quietly retreated to the garden after informing the superpower of his location. Also today, he was feeling quite ill. His head and body ached. He felt feverish and tired. And he certainly didn't feel in the mood to be his usual cynical and grumpy self. But he wanted to be there for Alfred on this special day. This was his first time that he willingly stayed to help organize the party. He couldn't let his petty pain ruin this special occasion. He sat down on the stone bench, grateful for its sturdiness. The ache in his body dulled…just a little. He was sure that it will pass…soon, he hoped.

"Age has already caught up with me…that git…maybe he was right, I'm really an old man…" Arthur smiled fondly, "I've gone soft…haven't I?"

Arthur gasped with surprise when he saw the first firework shoot up like a comet before exploding in colourful sparks. It must be Alfred's scheduled fireworks display. Realizing that he had a clear view of the display from where he was sitting, he watched the fireworks burst into the air like flaming flowers, lighting the night sky in colourful splendour. He closed his eyes momentarily to let the night air cool his burning skin. It truly was a mesmerizing sight and his smile grew just a bit wider. His young lover really knew how to make his fireworks turn into an artistic masterpiece.

He and Alfred became lovers not very long ago. Although they had officially acknowledged each other's affections and began the mend of the bond they lost, they were still in the early stages of intimacy and still fought and bickered like they always did. The only way the other countries knew that their relationship took up a notch was that they addressed each other by their human names and often visited each other's homes. Alfred still spouted nonsensical ideas of gigantic superheroes and chowed down hamburgers during the world meetings while Arthur still maintained his heated sword fights and choking fests with Francis and made sarcastic comments at every opportunity he got while sipping black tea.

But after a while, Arthur's tender reminiscing of his lover was lost when he felt the dull ache in his body intensify, causing him lose his breath. His head hurt even more. He found he could no longer enjoy the fireworks. They were too bright for his eyes to take. The booms and bangs sounded more like ferocious gunfire and booming cannon-fire. Suddenly his dress suit that he was always accustomed to wearing felt too tight and constricting, threatening to smother him in unbearable heat. He choked when his heart suddenly pounded and ached sharply, causing him to collapse on the damp grass. He felt light headed and broke into an icy sweat. He gasped when he saw stray dewdrops lingering on the mowed grass blades. His mind unconsciously flashed to a muddy battlefield with heavy rain, icy blue eyes filled with determination and a musket pointed in his direction. His head throbbed, making Arthur rock back and forth in pain.

"No…no…no…why…why today of all days…I thought…I thought I got over it…it's over..." Arthur gasped as he struggled to push himself up. But all the strength he had left sapped out of his body as he laid on the grass, "Why….why today…"

He knew what today was. It was the Fourth of July. It was Alfred's birthday, a day to celebrate with cake, presents and friends. Yet to him, it made him recollect on what he lost that day many years ago, which shouldn't matter at this time because he had already forgiven the young nation for what he did. Yet…the pain of the long-forgotten memory still lingered, never to leave completely. That time, he lost his precious Alfred to a growing fire of independence. He no longer wanted to be his little brother. He chose on his own will to leave him alone to suffer in agony and never return to his side.

As the pain continued to stab mercilessly in his head and body, his green eyes grew hazy with tears as the memory he thought had been buried flashed and overtook his senses…

* * *

_England ran as fast he could to catch up to America who was now backed up by a troop of soldiers. The elder nation cursed under his breath. He was alone. He had no one to back him up._

_"I gave you everything I had, America! What more do you want from me?!" England shouted. He froze when America's musket barrel was aimed in his direction._

_"England, all I want is my freedom!" America retaliated, his eyes shining with anger, "You won't give it to me and that's why I'm leaving you! I won't live in your shadow anymore!"_

The thunder clashed and boomed over their heads, the rain becoming strong and harsh.

_"I'm no longer a child! I'm no longer your little brother!" America shouted as he steadied the musket at his former mentor, the great sovereign nation who raised him like his own, "From now on, I AM INDEPENDENT!" _

_England's blood chilled upon America's bold proclamation and he felt his heart shatter. What happened to the sweet innocent little nation who chose him over France as his big brother? When did he become uncontrollable? To meet face to face in battle, against each other…there were no words to describe this horrendous hurt…_

_The cruel implication that his brother no longer loved him drove him over the edge. With an animalistic growl, he charged straight at America, who looked stunned at his ferocity. The young nation was caught off guard, causing him to lower the musket._

_"I WON'T LET YOU!" _

_England smashed the bayonet into America's musket and tossed it aside into the mud. He pointed his own musket at the youthful face, aiming in between his eyes. He panted as the adrenaline wore off._

_"You never follow things through to the end! You never listen! You idiot!" _

_England could barely hear the command of the troop captain behind America to take aim at him. Silence reigned over the battlefield save for the continual torrent of the falling rain. Then he made a fatal mistake which destroyed the resolve to win the war right there and there. He looked into America's eyes. His eyes…they were the only feature that remained constant as he grew up. They were beautiful like the bluest sky on a clear day. When he looked into those eyes, he saw the two of them together in happier times when the sun was always shining and the wildflowers were blooming all year round._

_England gritted his teeth. His hands shook as he lowered his weapon. America looked on with surprise, wondering why the older nation wouldn't take advantage on this opportunity to stop the rebellion._

_"I can't shoot you…there's no way I can…I just can't…" England tossed the musket to the side in frustration. _

_But the frustration turned to great sorrow. He collapsed onto his knees, cradling his wet face with his left hand and his eyes burning like fire. He tried in vain to stop the tears leaking from his eyes. Instead they seeped through his fingers to mingle with the rainwater. Pain wracked his frame as he submitted defeat to the nation he cared for. His haggard sobs echoed in the vicinity. _

_"Why….why…dammit! Why!….It's not fair…It's not FAIR!"_

_"You know why…..what happened to you…I remember…you were once so great…"_

_England didn't know how long America stood before him. As if in slow motion, he watched America ordered his troops to withdraw and began to turn his back on him to follow his soldiers._

_"DON'T LEAVE ME! We promised that we'll always be together and to take care of one another! Didn't I matter to you?!" England cried out hoarsely, causing America to pause in his tracks. His pride was shattered beyond repair. His reputation had gone down the drain. He sobbed as he tried in vain to get up only to collapse into the mud, "Please…come back…Alfred…"_

_England watched as America' shoulders tensed at his given name before looking back at him. The beautiful blue eyes were filled with tears and his expression was filled with such anguish that it made England's shattered heart ache._

_"I'm sorry…England…I can't be the brother you want me to be…" America's soft whisper was louder than a siren, "But…thank you for all you've done for me…"_

_And with that, America walked away. England prayed that America would change his mind and turn around to face him. But the other nation never turned around. Staring at the navy clad retreating form, England kept on yelling "Come back! Come back!" over and over again, which could be heard from miles around before dying into painful cries among the thunder and the rain…_

* * *

"Come back…come back…come back…" he murmured over and over again as the tears spilled from his eyes and onto the grass.

Arthur was lost in pain to realise the fireworks display had finished and peace once again settled over the garden. The elder nation felt sicker than ever. He cursed himself as more tears trickled down his dirty cheeks. Since that fateful day, he forced himself to conquer the heart wrenching sleepless nights filled with taunting dreams and fiercely discipline himself to not dwell on these memories. Yet for all the torturous hard work to keep the memories of the Revolutionary War suppressed, he would feel unbearably sick on that day as a cruel reminder of that incident, which continued to the present though at a lesser degree. Most of the time, he would hide the pain behind his gruff exterior and snarky remarks. But today…he didn't have the strength to, his sickness hit him hard. He hated himself for it; for being so weak…not like Alfred…

"Alfred…Alfred…" Arthur tried to reach for the bench. He managed to push himself up to his knees, panting as his heavy body protested with the movement, "No…Alfred can't see me like this…"

No one knew how deep-seeded his depression went, not even Alfred. It was his most guarded secret. Sure the young nation knew how much this day had affected them both. But Alfred never knew of the elder's yearly reoccurring sickness that plagued him. He couldn't know…he mustn't. Arthur's heart took another opportunity to torment him as it pounded painfully again, causing him to lose balance and collapse back onto the grass. This time, he fell unconscious, succumbing to the darkness to escape the pain.

It was at that moment that backdoor creaked open and Alfred stepped outside to look for his lover. The guests have already left and the house was quiet. He knew Arthur would be out here somewhere…where could he be?

"Hey, Arthur! Are you out here?! Dude, you missed the-" Alfred paused in horror to find Arthur sprawled on the grass. He jumped over the railing and ran to his side, propping him against his chest. Arthur whimpered but didn't open his eyes, "What happened to you…get a hold of yourself!"

He felt the older nation's forehead. The skin was strangely warm yet clammy to the touch and he was shivering. Whimpers tore from his throat. The sight scared Alfred to the core. He looked so frail…had his lover been sick all this while? He was fine at the beginning of the party…wasn't he?

Just then, thunder boomed and lightning clapped in an ominous flash before dark clouds covered the clear night sky. The rain started with a light drizzle before a heavy downpour washed over both of them.

"Damn! Well good thing the fireworks ended early…" a soft groan alerted his attention. Alfred turned to Arthur who finally opened his eyes, having felt the rainwater on his face, "Arthur? Thank God you're awake. You okay?"

"Alfred…no…" Alfred gasped at how unfocused his lover's green eyes were and he panicked when tears formed at the edge before they mixed with the rain, "Don't leave me…don't leave me…come back…come back…"

Alfred swallowed. He heard those words before…in a certain painful memory he wished he could forget despite being forgiven since they became lovers.

"O-Of course, I won't leave you, Arthur. You shouldn't be out in the night air…shit!" Alfred supported the smaller nation in his arms, carrying him bridal style back into the house. While Arthur kept on murmuring "Come back, come back", the young nation's heart raced, trying to calm his agitated delusional lover, "Arthur, I'm right here with you…I'm not going anywhere!"

* * *

He strode three stairs at a time to his bedroom where he and Arthur shared. After laying the semi-conscious man down on the bed and hastily wrapped a blanket around him, he rushed to the bathroom, poured some clean water in a basin and dumped a clean washcloth in it. Bringing it back to the bedside, he sat beside the older nation. He took off his jacket, loosened his tie and opened the first few buttons of his dress shirt. He squeezed the washcloth and patted Arthur's forehead and face, wiping away the grime from his cheeks. Worry lines creased Alfred's forehead, anxiously waiting for Arthur to fully wake. The young nation gripped his lover's hand, feeling a tiny squeeze in return.

"Alfred…what happened?" Arthur murmured softly, focus slowly coming back into his eyes, "The garden…"

"I found you collapsed on the grass. You scared me!" Alfred lunged forward and grabbed onto his lover, burying his cheek against his shirt, "Why didn't you tell me you were sick? You could've rested and I would've looked after you…"

"And missed out on your birthday party that you and I worked so hard on…I don't think so…Love…given to your limited medical knowledge, I felt it wasn't necessary…really…I'm fine…" Arthur winced when he felt his headache acting up again, "You were having such a wonderful time and I simply couldn't-"

"I'm a hero, I'm supposed to know all these things!" Alfred said sharply without meaning to. He was mad at himself for not noticing the signs he noted earlier that day. Arthur did look paler than usual and his comeback remarks didn't carry the snarkiness and sarcasm he was accustomed to. He nuzzled against Arthur's chest, "Especially on my birthday…especially when it concerns with who I love…"

Arthur brushed a free hand over the damp sandy brown locks and kissed his head.

"There's no need to worry…it happens only today-"

Arthur's immediately stopped at mid-sentence, realising what he just said. Alfred's head shot up and his spectacled eyes were wide with shock. Then his blue eyes narrowed behind Texas.

"What do you mean…only today…on my birthday…you mean this isn't the first?" Alfred's tone lost its worry and turned an octave lower. Arthur cringed. His lover must be really angry now, "You mean to say that it's all because of…"

Arthur's silence confirmed as the dreaded answer. With a sob, the elder nation turned his face away, unable to look at the blue eyes staring intently at him. The rain outside continued to fall…adding the tension inside the bedroom.

Meanwhile Alfred was in a conundrum of his own. Anger, anguish, guilt, sorrow and other horrible feelings boiled in his heart, creating a painful jumbled whirlwind threatening to overwhelm him. He thought back to his previous birthdays before they became lovers. Most of the time, Arthur avoided his house like the plague and mailed his present without fail. He wouldn't even reply to his party invitations just to avoid seeing him on the day. Alfred had been so ecstatic that Arthur actually agreed to help arrange the party and even stayed for a few minutes before retreating to the garden.

Alfred's memories of the Revolutionary War started to stir up and he flashed back to the moment that changed his life and crushed the nation he loved the most in the entire world to achieve his goal of independence…

* * *

_"I'm no longer a child!"_

_America placed his index finger on the trigger of his musket, using his bayonet to calibrate his aim at the European nation before him. _

"_I'm no longer your little brother!" _

_The young nation felt a rush of anger he hadn't felt before. He had no choice! This was the only way to be free from his mentor's control! To show that he had become a man!  
_

_But this…coming to this…to betray his brother for the sake of freedom and independence…he never thought it would come to this…but he had to press on…for his people who believed in him…even if it meant hurting the one person he admired and loved the most…_

_"From now on, I AM INDEPENDENT!" _

_A tense silence followed. America thought he was hallucinating because he saw a flash of extreme hurt and pain glinting in the green eyes of his former caretaker. He desperately hoped that his proclamation would make England to finally accept that he was his own country now and back away...  
_

_"I WON'T LET YOU!" _

_America was caught off guard by England's outburst and his willingness to charge straight at him, causing him to lower his weapon. He barely had time to defend himself as the older nation struck the wooden handle with the bayonet. He stumbled as his musket was knocked out his hands and landed on the muddy ground with a thump._

_He watched with a transfixed gaze as England took aim at his head, the glint of the bayonet shining coldly in the rain. America fought back a bitter chuckle. Why couldn't he just aim at his heart? Maybe the bullet could numb the pain he felt within._

_"You never follow things through to the end! You never listen! You idiot!" _

_He could hear more guns click behind him at the captain's command and they were all aimed at England. The rain continued to fall and thunder rumbled in the sky._

_After what it seemed to be an eternity, England lowered the musket, making America gasp in surprise. _

_"I can't shoot you…there's no way I can…I just can't…" _

_England tossed the weapon to the side. America's heart broke as his mentor, the strong nation he looked up to, fell to his knees. He could see the tears gathering at the edges of the green eyes that reminded him of freshly mown grass. England's shoulders shook and he tried in vain to keep the remaining tears at bay as his left hand covered his face._

_"Why….why…dammit! Why!….It's not fair…It's not FAIR!" England sobbed pitifully._

_"You know why….." America said sombrely. England had finally fallen. Everything he craved for was within his sights…but at what price? Seeing him crumpled like a rag doll tore his insides with burning guilt and sadness, "What happened to you…I remember…you were once so great…"_

_Unable to bear the tense atmosphere, America ordered his troops to move out. Just as he was about to follow in their direction-_

_"DON'T LEAVE ME! We promised that we'll always be together and to take care of one another! Didn't I matter to you?!"_

_America paused. He could hear shuffling behind him before a thump followed. The young nation winced, imagining that his former mentor was trying to follow him…but failed..._

_He momentarily looked back to the all the wonderful times they both spent together as brothers. They promised that they would never leave each other and care for one another…now he had broken those promises to gain independence. _

_"Please…come back…Alfred…"_

_At the mention of his human name, tears came unbidden to his eyes and the pain in his heart grew tenfold. England chose that name for him...a name that belonged to a great king back in his homeland. The young nation finally gave in the urge to look back to see England pathetically sprawled on the mud, one arm trying to reach out to him. America shook his head, allowing the tears to mingle with the rainwater. _

_"I'm sorry…England…I can't be the brother you want me to be..." America whispered his apology, "But…__thank you for all you've done for me_..."

_And America walked on without turning back, trying hard to ignore England calling him to come back. His heartwrenching cries would haunt him for the years to come…_

* * *

And they haunted Alfred still whenever he felt stressed…and even on his birthday…

The portable radio in the room began to pick up static as the thunderstorm intensified outside. A gentle piano solo followed by a sad baritone voice filled the room...

_"I bruise you  
You bruise me  
We both bruise so easily  
Too easily  
To let it show  
I love you  
And that's all I know..."_

Alfred looked back at Arthur who was gazing at the rain dribbling down the nearest window.

"I thought we were over this, Arthur...are you still hurting because of me?"

The elder's face bore the saddest expression he had ever seen. Arthur sighed shakily as the tears he held back fell down his cheeks.

"I never meant to hurt you…" Alfred softly said as he shifted closer to the older nation.

"But you did, Alfred…don't you know how painful it was…to come home to an empty house….to an empty bed…having to listen to voices saying that it was meant to happen…that I am meant to be alone…" Arther closed his eyes tiredly. His head started hurting again and the tears didn't help, "All the precious memories of our time together had been morphed into nightmares that tormented every hour that I slept…mocking me for what I lost…I forced myself to eventually think that it was all an illusion…I wanted to make the pain stop…"

Alfred fought to suppress the lump in his throat, "I'm really sorry…"

"I didn't tell you all this so it's alright…you didn't know…now all of this has come back to bite me…manifested in the form of this recurring illness on your birthday…then again…I should've known that I couldn't cage your spirit and your free will…I couldn't force you to be moulded to my vision…" Arthur turned back to Alfred with a self-deprecating smile, "I deserve this punishment for pushing you to become independent…"

Alfred felt the familiar burn in his eyes and tried to ignore it as he started to speak, "Hey…come on, we both know that I was the one at fault, Arthur. I was the one who broke our promises to stay together and take care of one another and instigated the Revolutionary War…but…I don't regret what I did…I meant it when I said that I no longer wanted to be your little brother and not to continue living in your shadow."

Arthur flinched at the statement and his heart throbbed with even more hurt he ever felt. He was about to move further away but Alfred was quick to pin him to the mattress. Arthur stubbornly turned away, hoping to avoid looking at Alfred in the eye.

"I wanted you to see me as your equal. I thought if I broke away from you, you would see me a man you could be proud of…I could show you what I'm capable of…I could practice what you taught me…I honestly thought that it wouldn't develop to that awful path we took…" Alfred's throat felt dry and his heart pounded so heart that he could feel it in his eardrums. He couldn't risk Arthur bolting away…not when they just got reacquainted and their bond just starting to mend, "Those feelings back then only grew stronger and less brotherly in nature…I knew right there and then I couldn't be the brother you wanted me to be…I wanted to be…I wanted to be someone you could love with your whole heart!"

"..." Arthur's bangs shielded his eyes, which was slowly filling up with tears...

"I severed those ties...so that I can be with you...like this...as lovers..."

Arthur sucked in a sharp breath at his lover's confession. He looked back to the day they got together and measured the happy and rejuvenated feelings he felt against the several hundred years he spent in painful loneliness since the Revolutionary War. Now...those wonderful feelings just felt insignificant and outmatched...in his mind, he felt as if he had been cheated and toyed with. The tears broke through and fell faster. The older nation clapped his left hand over his face, swiping furiously across his eyes.

"I knew that I should've told you all of this sooner, especially since we just got together...but-"

"Idiot…you bugger…you wanker…" Arthur's insults came out as weak whispers, lacking the bite they once had. Arthur could feel fresh anger and frustration erupting from the depths of his soul. These strong emotions overwhelmed his better sense of judgement and rationale he was so well known for. It also didn't help that he was still feeling feverish. He broke into a loud tirade, shouting at Alfred, "Why didn't you tell me this sooner instead of now?! What then?! We've wasted so much time! Why now…why me?! You should've left me to die! You should've let your soldiers finish what they started! Then I wouldn't have lived such a wretched existence!"

"Never ever say such a thing! I could never live with myself if it happened! My heart and whole existence would've died along with you!" Alfred shouted back, his bespectacled eyes flashing passionately. The tears he held back finally broke through the barrier of his eyelids, streaking his flushed cheeks. He grabbed Arthur's hand and pressed it firmly over the left side of his chest. Arthur felt the strong heartbeat drumming against his fingers, "Feel my heart! Only you could touch my heart! You make it whole and you break it too! No matter how much it hurts, it hurts even more when you're not here with me! That's why…that's why…that's why I need you beside me always!"

Arthur gripped onto Alfred's wet shirt before launching himself forward to vent his frustration on him. The blanket flew off and crumpled on the floor. Alfred didn't retaliate when he felt weak punches thumping his chest. Instead he tightly wrapped his arms around his lover, threading his fingers through Arthur's golden blonde hair, which sprinkled stray beads of rainwater with each punch.

"I love you, Arthur!"

The punches on his chest eventually stopped. The small body within his arms quivered and all he could hear were Arthur's haggard sobs and garbled apologies for hurting his chest.

"I love you…" Alfred whispered as he pulled back to tilt Arthur's chin to eye level.

"For how long?" Arthur whispered weakly, "How long will this last…"

"For eternity."

Arthur gave a bitter chuckle, "For eternity? You seriously believe it so? You're a bigger idiot than I thought."

Alfred's heart twisted at the response. Then the bitter chuckle turned into another harsh sob.

Arthur rested his sore head against his lover's shoulder, "Feelings change and disappear over time…what we felt then…what we feel now…and in the future…it'll be gone…then I'll be all alone...just like before..."

_"And all my plans keep falling through  
All my plans they depend on you  
Depend on you  
To help them grow  
I love you  
And that's all I know..."_

"No...I won't let that happen...'cause I won't make the same mistake again...I'm going to take my chances to prove you wrong, Arthur…" Alfred nuzzled his nose against Arthur's temple and kissed it before trailing his lips to one of his thick eyebrows. He felt a twitch in the fine skin among the dark hairs, "What we did months ago when we confessed our feelings for each other…having you in my arms right now…this was and is all real…from now on, I will use every moment to make you believe in me…and in us…"

By instinct, Arthur would've made another counter argument why it wasn't so. But now, he felt exhausted and couldn't find the fire in him to bicker with his lover. Instead he sighed and sagged against the larger frame of the younger nation.

"Alfred…" Arthur's fingers gripped his lover's shirt tightly, clenching the material between his fingers, "Don't let me go…don't leave me alone again..."

"Arthur…I won't..." Alfred whispered heavily as he continued to embrace his lover, burying his nose in the messy mop of golden blonde hair, "I gave you my word as a hero."

"I love you…I love you too…" Arthur breathed. He gasped when he felt Alfred trailing his cool fingers underneath his shirt to stroke his feverish skin. He sighed shakily as a new heat invaded his body, "Alfred…"

The young nation pushed Arthur back against the bed, initiating a soft gentle kiss. Arthur stiffened momentarily at the contact but soon gave in and allowed Alfred to lead. Their lips massaged against each other while their tongues shyly explored each other's mouths, tasting rainwater and tears. When they finished, a string of mixed saliva connected their lips.

Alfred looked down at Arthur. The elder nation was breathing heavily, his lips shiny and plump. His skin was flushed in a lovely red hue. His green eyes had darkened to an emerald green and his damp disheveled hair created a golden halo around his head.

"Beautiful…" Alfred murmured in awe, causing Arthur to blush even more furiously, "You're so beautiful..."

"Y-You don't mean that, you git…" the older nation murmured. He squirmed underneath Alfred. "I'm not…I'm not attractive…not even to a woman..."

"Well that doesn't matter anymore 'cause you have me. So when I say you're beautiful, you really are…I'm the hero so everything I say will turn out okay."

Arthur's cheeks turned redder, "I gave you all I had when you were young...I don't have anything else to give you now..."

"Will you let me into your heart this time?" Alfred asked gently as he placed his large hand over Arthur's chest, feeling his heartbeat, "You'll never be alone again...I'll make sure of that..."

Arthur clenched the hand still resting on his chest, "What did you possibly see in me?"

"Everything...just I told you before...back in the rose garden..." Alfred murmured, "You're everything to me when I was little...you're still everything to me now..."

Alfred kissed his lover's forehead and cheeks sweetly. His glasses turned foggy with each heated breath. He could fear a tightening sensation between his legs and around his stomach. Alfred bit back a groan as he took off Texas from his nose. He placed the glasses on the bedside dresser. His vision was a bit blurry but he could manage, he still could see Arthur beneath him…

"We haven't done anything what lovers normally do so far…" Alfred quietly noted as he continued to stroke the soft skin under his lover's shirt.

Arthur let out a breath as he cupped the handsome face above him, wiping away the tears still clinging to Alfred's eyelashes. His blue eyes were so beautiful and he felt awful for making them tear up, "True…"

"But you're still a bit feverish, though…" Alfred observed as he placed his cheek on Arthur's forehead. It was still warm to the touch and he could feel the minute twitches his body was giving off, "Are you sure you're okay? Your body still aching?"

"I'm not some fragile porcelain doll, Alfred!" Arthur said sternly before his eyes softened, "I can take what you dish out."

Alfred leaned down to kiss Arthur's collarbone, nipping and nibbling up and down his neck. The small embers of lust ignited into an inferno within him, "God…I need you…are you scared?"

Arthur gasped when he felt the gentle nibbling on his neck and felt the new heat pool all over his tired and aching body. He shook his head, knowing in his heart, he wanted this to happen. No...he NEEDED this to happen...

"No…no, Alfred…I'm not scared…" Arthur felt Alfred settle on top of him, causing tingles to brush his body like the fluttering of delicate butterfly wings. The weight was comforting and warm.

"I won't be able to hold back once we get going..." Alfred's voice was filled with tense lust...a final warning before the fall...

"I'm not asking you to..." Arthur whimpered when Alfred ground his hips against him, "Alfred…I think…we need something new…to remember by…"

"I agree…"

Alfred propped himself with one strong arm as his other unoccupied hand trailed to his tie. Arthur shivered as Alfred slid the tie away, which he immediately threw to the ground. He cupped the older nation's face.

"Let's make some new memories…"

_To be continued…_

* * *

**Author's notes:** Hah…that was satisfactory. Well, the first part's done…now the second part…now how the heck am I supposed to do this…it'll come to me :)

Anyway, I hope that this is enough to keep you guys interested in this story. I promise I will get the second part up asap…zettai ni!

Until then, I accept constructive feedback but no flamers whatsoever. All flamers will be used to bake marshmallows and make smores…hmmmm….now I'm hungry...gotta eat! Kudos to you all!


	2. Memories for the Present and Future

**Author's notes:** Well here I am! I finally did it! Boy did it take forever! I had to reedit parts here and there to make sure the story is coherent. Here is the yummy smuttiness as promised and I also updated slight bits on the previous chapter to improve the story flow. I sincerely hope that it is up to your standards (and hopefully adheres to the M-rating…). Gah! Enjoy!

**Story notes:** The words in Italics are to indicate song lyrics.

**Warning!:** This story DOES contain YAOI and sappy angst. OOC may be present…I'm writing these characters according to how I see them. If you don't like, please turn back and save yourself from giving me a flamer about it. The SMUTTINESS is here! Please don't kill me for my imagination!

**Disclaimer:** Everything that is and about Hetalia by Hidekaz Himaruya and the song 'All I Know' don't belong to me. I only thought of the plot and this is written for my writing satisfaction If Hetalia did belong to me, I want England to sing Phantom of the Opera to me…that would be heaven…

**Update on 3/2/2012:** Just added some bits to this chapter but nothing to greatly affect the storyline :)

* * *

**Memories for the Present and the Future**

_"When the singer's gone  
Let the song go on  
It's a fine line between  
The darkness and the dawn  
They say in the darkest night  
There's a light beyond..."_

Absorbed by the song still playing on the radio, Alfred pressed his slightly chapped lips against Arthur's to initiate a bold kiss, slowly becoming addicted to each other's tastes. Arthur wrapped his shaking arms around his lover, trying to get him closer. Alfred pushed his tongue further into Arthur's mouth to taste more of the lingering taste of Earl Grey tea he had that morning. Arthur moaned and reciprocated the gesture as he gently sucked on his lover's tongue, tasting the remnants of Coke Zero he drank at the party. Other than the music, the wet sounds of their lips, the clicking of their teeth grinding and biting against each other and soft moans and grunts dominated the pitter and pattering of the rain outside.

They eventually broke apart for air but Alfred wasn't finished yet as he returned to kiss Arthur's thick eyebrows and suck the tender skin, making him shiver. Then he trailed along the older nation's hot cheeks and his tongue rolled out to lick and suck around and inside the shell of one of his ears. Arthur tensed when he felt the wet muscle jabbing into the appendage.

"Alfred…no…I can't...you'll make me...ah!" Arthur's feeble attempt to resist failed. He gave in and moaned. From the licking of the contours within his ear, he felt sharp jabs of intense pleasure attacking his body. He had no idea how sensitive his ears were. God…it felt so good…

Alfred smirked as the smaller built nation fidgeted and squirmed under him. His breathless moans were music to his ears. As he continued to tease his lover's ears, his nimble fingers gently skimmed across his neck where he nibbled previously before reaching for the fastened buttons of his shirt. With each flick of his fingertips, the buttons came undone and he swept the material apart to display his bare chest. He slowed his administrations gradually, kissing each ear with reverence as he finished. Arthur breathed harshly at the lack of stimuli on his ears, which were now shiny with saliva. His body felt tingly all over and his pants were becoming just a bit too tight for his own liking.

Alfred settled himself between his lover's legs as he ran his hands over the alabaster expanse of skin of his torso. He could make out the faint outlines of scars inflicted by various past wars and battles he participated in but it made him all the more beautiful in his eyes. As his fingertips brushed across the soft nipples, Arthur arched his body upon the contact.

"You have no idea how turned on I am to see you like this…" Alfred murmured, his voice dropped to a sexy predatory tone.

Alfred lowered his head to the left nipple. He flicked his tongue over the nub before sucking and pulling the sensitive skin with his teeth. He felt Arthur's hands immediately threading through his sandy blonde hair.

"Goddamn …" Arthur gasped loudly when he felt his other nipple pinched and squeezed by talented fingers. The pinching added to the hot wetness on his chest sent bolts of heat down to his groin and the tightening pressure intensified, creating a delicious pain. Stupid trousers were in the way…he needed release… "Alfred…please…please…"

"Please what, Arthur?" he gave a sickly sweet smile as he continued to suck and lick the nipple which was now hard and wet. Arthur whined and humped his hips against his lover's stomach, hoping he would figure what he wanted. Alfred pinned the thrusting hips against the mattress, "I don't know what you want unless you tell me what to do…I'm not a mind reader, you know…"

Arthur groaned in frustration. The tightening between his legs was becoming unbearable. He was sure Alfred was tormenting him on purpose because as he hovered over him, his kneecap was teasingly stroking the tented bulge, not giving the right amount of pressure to set him to release. He felt hot everywhere and his body was covered in sweat and saliva. He desperately needed to relief the pressure or he'll…oh God!

"My…my…ooh…help me get those blasted trousers off!"

"See? That wasn't so hard," Alfred chuckled, earning a dark glare from Arthur.

Alfred reached for the belt buckle and unfastened the catch, pulling the leather accessory off and tossing it to the floor. He pulled the dress pants off completely, along with his socks and leather shoes. The European nation was left with his opened shirt and his boxers. The American nation gulped when he saw the bulge twitch within the thin material which was stained with wet spots.

Arthur covered his face with his hands in embarrassment, suddenly feeling self-conscious that his lover would be seeing him naked for the first time and he was afraid that Alfred wouldn't like what he saw. Sensing his distress, Alfred bent down to pull them away. Arthur blushed as he looked up to the younger nation. His blue eyes were tender and filled with such unbridled and pure love that it made Arthur's heart melt.

"You really are beautiful, Arthur…" Alfred said reassuringly as his hands hooked on the waistband and lifted it over the strained organ. Arthur moaned breathlessly when the cold air hit his overheated erection as it stood proud and tall, the red tip oozing precum, "So beautiful.."

"Ahhh…." Arthur fidgeted uncomfortably at the way Alfred was staring intently at him, "Stop staring like that…it's embarrassing…"

"Why not? How can I stop staring when you look so sexy like this?"

Alfred coaxed Arthur to lift his hips to get rid of the boxers. Arthur gasped and unconsciously crossed his legs. He had been celibate since his pirate days…that was ages ago…and to finally give in his sexual desire…it was all too much. But his worries and fears were unfounded when Alfred pressed a sweet gentle kiss on his cheek, hugging him close to his clothed body. The smaller built nation quivered when he felt his lover's hands stroking his inner thighs.

"Spread your legs a bit more, Arthur…" Alfred instructed as he settled into a more comfortable position. He grasped the cock in his calloused hand and gave it some tentative strokes. Arthur groaned and thrust within the tunnel created by his fingers, wanting more heat…more tightness to his hot skin. More precum spilled from the tip. Aroused by the tangy scent and the way it throbbed in his hand, Alfred sampled his first taste as his tongue swiped across the head, "Delicious…I want to eat you all up…"

Arthur threw his head back with a scream as Alfred engulfed the head with a wet kiss, encasing in within the wet velvet warmth of his mouth. With a satisfied grunt, Alfred grabbed both of his lover's legs and held them in position as he kissed, licked and sucked all over the wonderful piece of warm turgid flesh. He hummed contently as he felt it harden and soften rhythmically in his mouth, tasting traces of precum on his eager tongue. He traced his teeth along the thick veins and lightly bit the foreskin to create a sensational pain. Every now and then, he would dip the tip of his tongue into the tiny slit on the cockhead to feel Arthur's body jolt as though he had been electrocuted.

Arthur gasped and moaned as he twisted on the bed under the mercy of the superpower who was humming and groaning contently with the feel of the solid cock in his mouth. The older nation was now sweating all over and the coil within his stomach burned. He ran his fidgety hands over the sandy blonde head and muscular shoulders. Alfred felt his cock twitch and harden each time Arthur's fingers brushed Nantucket.

"Alfred! Don't stop…please…please…" Arthur whimpered as he tried to thrust his hips for more of the wetness and friction he craved. Alfred momentarily released the erection to breathe. He softly kissed his taut stomach before sucking and massaging his balls as he thumbed the tip.

"You're so good…you're making me so hard..." he continued to stroke and lick Arthur's erection and his other free hand trailed to his jeans to unfasten the top button and pull down the zipper.

The young nation groaned as soon as his own erection was released from its denim prison. He felt fortunate he wasn't wearing any underwear today. He fondled himself momentarily while he recaptured the twitching cock into his mouth, causing Arthur to scream once again in rapture.

Knowing that his lover wouldn't last for any more foreplay, Alfred steadied on his elbows to cup the smooth round buttocks. He bobbed his head up and down the cock, slurping with each upward stroke before gulping it down hard and fast. He gazed at his lover with a smouldering gaze in his eyes which had darkened to a deep sapphire blue, giving unspoken permission to go wild. The older nation captured the gaze and groaned at the passion flaring in those blue irises. With a gasp, he began thrusting erratically in and out of his lover's wet mouth. His fingers gripped the sandy blonde locks, urging him to move faster. Alfred struggled with the sudden change of pace and resisted the urge to choke when the tip hit the back of his throat and his scalp was starting to hurt. But being the hero he was, he quickly adapted and relaxed his throat to resist the gag reflex and relished the cries and moans erupting from his lover to distract from the insistent tugs and pushes of his hair.

"Ah! Ah..hah! Nggh! Alfred…pull back! I can't'! I can't hold on much longer!" Arthur felt the familiar pressure pooling into his groin. It was coming fast. He warned Alfred of his impending release by trying to push his head back. But Alfred merely held onto his arse tight and sucked faster and harder, determined that to make Arthur come. When Alfred plunged in to deep-throat him, tears pricked Arthur's eyelids and slid down his face as the pinnacle of release was within his reach, "AH! ALFRED!"

Alfred groaned when he felt the erection stiffen in his mouth and released a huge stream of bitter hot cum onto his tongue. He sucked the cock dry, placing a soft kiss on the softening flesh. He licked his lips seductively as he swallowed the cum he had in his throat. He gazed at Arthur who was lost in a haze of sexual afterglow. His lithe body twitched in his post orgasmic state. His heavy pants filled the air as he tried to suck much-needed oxygen into his pleasure-ridden brain. Alfred clambered over the still body to capture his lover in a soft kiss. Arthur regained focus in his eyes and smiled in the kiss. Alfred pulled away to help Arthur out of his soaked dress shirt, which was now mixed with sweat.

_"And the ending always comes at last  
Endings always come too fast  
They come too fast  
And they pass too slow..."_

"That was…amazing, Love…" Arthur praised as they broke off. He gently massaged his head as he combed through his hair, "Sorry for being so rough..."

"Don't be...you took my breath away...literally, Arthur," Alfred then shuddered as the ache between his legs throbbed insistently.

Arthur frowned, noticing how tense Alfred was. He felt something hot and hard sliding against his bare stomach. He looked down to find Alfred's erection pressed onto his skin.

Arthur felt guilty that his young lover hadn't found release yet and reached down to grasp the heated erection in his hand. Alfred groaned and swayed his hips into the older nation's hand. Arthur was mesmerized by the alluring sight. He stroked the hard organ gently, relishing how right it felt in between his fingers, "My poor lad…do you need help?"

Alfred gently grabbed Arthur's wrist to pull away from his erection and kissed his palm before releasing his hand, "Yeah, I do…but…I want something more from you…"

"What do you mean, Love?" Arthur asked.

"I want every part of you…" Alfred whispered as he leaned down to kiss the nape of his lover's neck as his fingers trailed to his anus nestled between the round buttocks. Arthur shivered at the feather light touches and to his embarrassment, his spent erection twitched until it was half hard, "I want to mark you…"

"W-Wait! Hold on! Have you done this before?" Arthur asked anxiously as he tried to shimmy away from the intruding fingers.

This time, it was Alfred's turn to blush. He looked like a kid whose hand was stuck in the cookie jar, "Well…I…uhm…I watched some online instructional videos…"

"Oh God, don't give me that…it was gay porn, wasn't it?!"

"Hey! I didn't know and I was curious! At least I know what to do when it comes to this situation!" Alfred calmed down after his defensive outburst and his eyes softened, "But do you still trust me?"

Arthur still stayed silent. Alfred, becoming tense at his unresponsiveness, titled his lover's chin and looked at him squarely in the eyes.

Alfred's gaze was filled with a rare seriousness that literally took his breath away, "I want to be a part of you...no one is to touch you ever again, or so help me, I will castrate the next son-of-a-bitch if he dares to take a glance at you."

Arthur glanced at his lover with a stunned expression, blown away by the possessive tone in his voice. Alfred had led them this far…there was no turning back. He knew what would happen in the next few minutes would seal their fate as true lovers.

"Arthur?"

For his answer, the older nation looped his arms back around the larger body above him to bring him down to nip at his lips before kissing them.

Arthur lifted his hips to rub his half-hard erection against his lover. Alfred grunted and reciprocated the gesture, "I want all of you too…I trust you..."

"You won't regret this, I promise," Alfred breathed.

"But…" Arthur looked at the young nation with a disapproving stare, making Alfred pause.

"But?" he hesitantly said.

"It's not fair that I have all my clothes off and you don't!" Arthur crossly exclaimed as he reached for Alfred's jeans to pull them down to his knees, "You're so selfish…I thought I taught you better manners…honestly!"

Alfred chuckled warmly. Inside he breathed a sigh of relief that Arthur still had the energy to scold him, "Alright, point taken…"

With that, Alfred kicked off the faded jeans, threw off his shoes and quickly undid his shirt to throw it carelessly over his shoulders. He towered over Arthur, whose eyes were now soft and gentle…just like in the old days when they were finding bunnies in the fields or playing hide-and-seek in the house. How amazing what a little bit of renewed love could do to one who was usually so snarky and cynical…it made his heart swell that he made those eyes look at him that way. Arthur gazed at his former colony with fond admiration as his eyes appreciatively skimmed over the wonderfully muscled body. Alfred had truly become a proud man...

The superpower rolled onto his side to face the nation he loved. He cupped his face, combing hair away from his green eyes.

"I love you…" Alfred sincerely whispered as he kissed the corner of his mouth and pulled him close so that every inch of their skin was in contact, "I love you so much…"

Arthur felt more tears creep on the edge of his eyes...why was he crying when he was so happy, "And I you, you git…now finish what you started."

Alfred need no further cue as he bent down to kiss him. Arms wrapped tightly around each other as they languidly explored each other's mouths, now familiar with each other's tastes. Alfred groaned in the kiss when he felt movement in his nether regions. He broke away to gaze down at Arthur in his arms. A beautifully flushed Arthur was thrusting his half hard erection against his own. His arousal spiked as he watched the magnificent piece of flesh twitched and stiffened to full hardness, matching its twin. Alfred reached down to cup both erections, rubbing them together in his fist. Arthur gasped and tensed at the contact before thrusting slightly faster, loving the hot friction of warm flesh against him. Alfred focused on the blissful expression flooding across Arthur's red face as he fisted them both together. It took all his willpower he had within him to not to cum right there and then.

Alfred eventually heard and observed the telltale signs that Arthur was reaching his peak once again. He was panting faster than usual, his hips were becoming more jerky in movement and his hands were slowly reaching for their joined erections. Alfred immediately withdrew his hand, making Arthur give out a strangled cry that sounded between a groan and a sob.

"You wanker…I was almost…" Arthur felt himself maneuvered onto fours. A soft pillow was placed before him, allowing him to rest his fuzzy head and arms. He sighed at the soothing coolness of silk against his skin. He felt gentle hands spreading his legs and buttocks, "Alfred…what…"

"You always told me preparation is key…." Alfred knelt behind Arthur and massaged the round fleshy globes in his hands, "I don't want to hurt you…"

"Do what you must…" Arthur said shakily before moaning, "But be careful and hurry…I don't think I will last much longer…"

Alfred rummaged through the bedside drawer and found the half-used bottle of lubricant, which was a constant companion for wet dreams on lonely nights until now. Setting it aside for now, Alfred returned to Arthur to continue where he left off. Transfixed by the sight of the unblemished arsehole before him, he dug his face in between the smooth round globes and began licking around it. Then he slowly inched the tip of his tongue into the hole, tasting the saltiness that was the essence of his lover. Loving the taste, he began to aggressively lick and suck around it. He growled when Arthur fidgeted and grabbed onto his hips tightly to prevent any more movement.

Meanwhile Arthur was shocked at the sudden wetness on his behind and tried to squirm away but he wasn't having much luck since the superpower was much stronger than he was. But the feel of the silken appendage traveling over his buttocks and the wet slurping sounds made his cock twitch. He couldn't deny how he loved hearing them. It was a sign of what was to come. He began to feel the coil in his stomach tighten once more and his legs were becoming shaky.

"Alfred…enough already…ah…hah…nghh…"

Alfred eventually pulled back, satisfied at the way the puckered hole was twitching and shiny with saliva.

The young nation finally reached for the bottle to pour a generous amount of the gooey liquid onto his fingers. Holding Arthur's hips steady, he slowly pushed the first finger in and thrust in and out while gauging the recipient's reaction. He felt his lover tense and cry out; so he hadn't been breached before…it would make their first time all the more sweeter. But he frowned when he saw his lover's erection losing some of its hardness. Arthur must be feeling uncomfortable and he couldn't blame him.

"Shhhh…you need to relax your muscles…" Alfred said soothingly, "Let me in…calm down…"

"Easier said than done…" Arthur gritted his teeth. He didn't like what he was feeling. It felt so strange and painful to have something up his arse, "I don't know if I can do this…"

"Yes, you can. Focus on this…" Alfred reached out and squeezed his erection, making Arthur gasp and thrust into his hand. As he did, Alfred could feel the arsehole slowly but surely sucking his finger in further. He bit back a groan and how the moist muscle tightened around his finger like wet silk, "That's it, Sweetheart, just like that…"

Alfred continued to stroke Arthur as he nudged another lubricated finger in to join its twin. Arthur squirmed but continued to focus on the pleasuring sensation of Alfred's stroking. Alfred thrust his two fingers, stretching the arsehole carefully with scissoring movements. He could feel it loosen even more and prompted him to add the third and final finger. By then, Arthur began to unconsciously hump onto his fingers. He had grown accustomed to the strange sensation though the pain still lingered. All of a sudden, he felt a sharp poke on his insides. A thunderous tremor ran through his body as he felt a sudden spike of intense pleasure running through his body. He groaned and his erection released a glob of precum onto the comforter. It left him breathless and made him hungry for more of those delicious spikes of pleasure. His wish was granted when he felt the spikes a few more times. He was driven to a humping frenzy and his cock was making more wet spots on the comforter. But just as he was about to reach his peak, the searing sensations cruelly stopped altogether. He whimpered and weakly looked behind to see Alfred smirking at him.

"I'm going to pound you right there...but I can't let you come until you feel me..." Alfred withdrew his fingers. Arthur sobbed at the loss of contact and collapsed onto the comforter. He felt so dizzy and his knees unable to bear the heavy weight. The larger nation gently turned Arthur onto his back and settled between his legs, "I want to see you. You ready?"

"What are you waiting for…" Arthur hissed and brushed his hard erection against Alfred's, causing the younger of the two to groan, "Get on with it…"

"And you always tell me I'm the impatient one…"

Alfred squeezed a dollop of lubricant onto his erection, moaning at the feel of the cool gel coating his heated flesh. Satisfied, he tossed the bottle away and stroked himself, making sure it was all slick. Then he positioned the head of his erection at Arthur's arsehole and slowly pushed in. Arthur gasped in pain and grabbed hold of his lover's biceps, digging his short nails into the smooth sweat-slicked skin. This definitely felt bigger than three fingers. He felt tears escaping from his eyes once again before gentle kisses rained on his face.

"So tight…" Alfred breathlessly whispered as the cockhead was fully embedded into the tight hole. He stroked the weeping face below him, "Relax…relax your muscles…you're doing so well..."

Arthur nodded and tried to relax as much as he could by focusing on the gentle kisses and spread his legs wider to accommodate his lover. Alfred slowly inched himself further and further into the lithe body beneath him until he buried to the hilt. He looked down where their bodies were connected and groaned. It was pure bliss…Arthur felt so tight, wet and warm.

"Ah…it's all in…"

Arthur struggled to catch his breath. God, he felt like he was torn in half and he quivered as jolts of pain ran up his spine. Yet at the same time, he felt full…he felt complete. Alfred was finally one with him...he moaned as his lover began to thrust his hips slowly and carefully. Alfred resisted the primal urge to pound senseless into the body below him. Arthur's pleasure was his number one priority as a hero.

"I could just come seeing you like this..." Alfred whispered as he spread Arthur's legs further apart while trying to find the same spot where he made his lover shudder in pleasure.

After a few experimental thrusts, he grinned when Arthur shrieked and thrashed around. He knew he had found the older nation's sweet spot once again and he was determined to make him feel only pleasure this time round…to show the older nation how much he was loved by only him…the thought of having to share Arthur's attention with the other nations in future meetings and other trivial matters after tonight flared the dormant jealousy he kept within himself. He shoved his cock in and out of Arthur who groaned with each thrust.

"Can you feel me, huh? I'm being rough with you…you feel so good…" Alfred growled as Arthur writhed helplessly beneath him, his hips joining in the sensual dance of love. The young nation reached down to grasp the weeping cock, causing Arthur to buck his hips even wilder, "You're mine!"

Arthur cried out in bliss as he found himself assaulted on two primary points of delicious torture attacking his stomach and lower regions. He gazed up at Alfred, finding the same smouldering fire burning inside his blue eyes.

'Oh, merciful heaven...so hot...I'm going to melt...' Arthur thought as he was pounded into and his cock twisted and manipulated with nimble fingers. His body stiffened with each white hot spike of pleasure attacking him, driving him insane. 'So good...so good!'

'Mine! Only I get to see you like this...' Alfred smirked at the debauched nation moving his hips to take in more of his cock. He rewarded him by thumbing the red tip, making Arthur cry out at the touches. He recalled Francis's teasing earlier during the party that he could never bed Arthur even if he tried, with the British nation being proper and all. Now he could prove the French nation wrong, 'Eat that, Francis! I'll show you who's the best in bed!'

"Faster…harder…Alfred…" Arthur managed to blurt out between each thrust of Alfred's hips.

Groans, moans, breathless whispers and the wet sounds of their lovemaking filled the stuffy room.

Alfred grunted as he bent Arthur over and pistoned his hips vigorously. He had been hard for so long and just feeling his lover squeezing and tightening around him was an overwhelming sensation. Arthur howled and gripped the comforter tightly as his lover plunged impossibly deeper into his shivering body, hitting his sweet spot precisely with each thrust. The musky scent of sex and sweat tinged the air around them, making the atmosphere all the more arousing for both nations.

"I'm so close…ah….ah!" Arthur gulped and gasped as the tightening in his nether regions grew worse, "Alfred…hurry…"

"Me too…me too…" Alfred nodded and increased the pace of his stroking and his thrusting hips.

Overstimulated by the brutal thrusts and the rough play on his erection, Arthur tipped over the edge. He arched his sweaty body and screamed his lover's name, coming for the second time for the night. White ribbons of cum erupted onto his stomach and all over the long fingers encasing him. Seeing Arthur's orgasmic state and the sudden tightening around him caused Alfred's blurry vision to flash white as he shouted his lover's name to the heavens.

"ARTHUR!"

He came inside Arthur, spewing stream after stream of cum inside him. Arthur sobbed and twitched upon feeling Alfred's cum filling him to the brim and his lover's softening erection just brushing against his sweet spot. Alfred collapsed heavily on top of the smaller nation, burying his hot face against the nape of his neck. Their hearts thundered under their heaving chests and the messy mixture of sweat and cum mingled between them. After catching their breaths, Alfred pushed himself up to gaze at Arthur who looked back tiredly at him.

"Breathtaking…" Arthur smiled.

He took Alfred's hand and kissed and sucked Alfred's cum-covered fingers like a kitten. He was too sated to care what he was doing was improper or disgusting. Besides, the hitch in Alfred's breathing and the sexy amazed look on his young face made it all worth it.

"You too…" Alfred kissed Arthur's eyelids before kissing him softly.

A tender silence followed save for the rain slowing down until crickets could be heard chirping outside.

* * *

The rain was eventually reduced to a barely noticeable drizzle and the song on the radio was nearing its end..._  
_

_"I love you  
And that's all…  
It's really all I know…"_

Alfred carefully pulled himself out and repositioned his lover's numb legs back onto the bed. Arthur hissed at the loss, feeling empty without the wonderful cock inside him. Dribbles of cum oozed from his arsehole, staining the comforter.

The younger nation regained enough energy to reach for the basin and the washcloth as well as his glasses. After hastily cleaning himself up, he turned to Arthur to start cleaning him, seeing how exhausted he looked.

Alfred rubbed the cloth soothingly over Arthur's body, pressing kisses here and there. He frowned in dread when he found traces of blood staining the wet washcloth when he was in the process of wiping his lover's anus. He closely examined the affected area to find the delicate skin slightly blemished with minute bleeding.

"Shit…" Alfred went back to the bedside drawer to fetch a tube filled with medicinal cream.

"What's wrong, Love?" Arthur didn't like the frown marring the youthful face. He winced at the sharp pain travelling up his back when he tried to sit up, "Oh…that's why…"

"I'm sorry, Arthur…" Alfred apologized sadly as he squirted the cream on his fingers, "I got overexcited and now I've hurt you…"

"That's utter nonsense, Alfred…no amount of meticulous prep could prevent it from fully happening…I must admit that you did very well, despite your…questioning means…" Arthur said reassuringly, "You should never underestimate the strength of the British Empire. This pain is nothing."

Alfred smiled with relief and continued his task. Arthur grunted at the feel of the cold cream hitting his stinging backside but sighed contentedly as the soothing fingers gently rubbed his skin, his pain gradually turned numb. Alfred placed the cream back on the nightstand, feeling satisfied that the bleeding stopped and the swelling noticeably reduced. He made a mental note to prepare some painkillers tomorrow morning.

"How are you feeling, Arthur? You still feel achy? Or hot all over?" Alfred asked with concern as he pressed his lips to the cooling forehead.

Arthur gave a thought. Although he was feeling quite lethargic, he felt no pain in his head or anywhere else on his body. His head was pleasantly hazy from the mind-blowing orgasm. The feverish flush was replaced by sweet gentle warmth that circulated from his heart and spread throughout every limb._  
_He smiled at the young nation hovering over him. He cupped his face to pull him down for a loving embrace.

"Well, it's safe to say that you cured my illness tonight, Love…" Arthur said as he hugged his lover close to his chest, "I feel very…"

"Complete? Full? Healed 100 percent?" Alfred asked expectantly, knowing that these answers were right anyway.

A warm chuckle floated to the American nation's ear. Arthur felt too happy to fully articulate more adjectives describe to the swelling sensation of wholeness he felt within.

"For lack of better words…yes…"

Alfred pulled away and smiled back at Arthur before breaking into a full-blown laugh.

"I like this side of you. Man…if this is how I get to see you all sentimental and lovey-dovey like this, we should have started this a long time ago!" Alfred exclaimed before Arthur slapped him on the head. Alfred pouted angrily, "Hey! What's that for?!"

"For killing the mood, moron…just shut up and hug me…" Arthur grumbled but there was mirth shining in his forest green eyes.

"Yes, old man."

"Who're calling 'old'?! You'll take back those words, you whelp!"

As they lightly bantered, Alfred gathered the lithe nation in his arms and slipped under the sheets and comforter. Arthur sighed as he laid on the smooth chest, feeling tender fingers combing his golden blonde hair. He gazed up at his lover who in turn smiled sleepily at him, Texas askew on his nose and his sandy blonde hair tousled with Nantucket sticking out. Arthur carefully took away his glasses to place them on the nightstand before making himself more comfortable on his human pillow.

Arthur fell into deep thoughts, unconsciously drifting back to the memory of the Revolutionary War. As he did, it brought up other memories after that caused him deep regret and heartache for all that he had done to Alfred. It was then he thought of something he should had done long long ago when they first became official Allies…

"Alfred…"

"What is it?" Alfred observed the contemplative look on his lover's face, "Something troubling you?"

"No…it's just…I just realized I never asked for your forgiveness…" Arthur swallowed a small lump in his throat, "During the Revolutionary War…and...everything else in between...especially in 1814..."

Arthur felt his heart ache when he recalled when he did to Alfred in 1812...he was so angry...at that time, he truly hated the nation who was currently cradling him...and it made his heart break at the present. He sniffled and felt new tears cascading down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry for all that I've done…"

Alfred repositioned himself until he was face to face with the older nation. He gently cupped the sorrowful face and thumbed the tears away. Arthur looked at him, puzzled at the tender action.

"Alfred?"

"I've already forgiven you...about the Revolutionary war and...everything else in between."

Arthur was incredulous. How could he be easily forgiven in a heartbeat? How could Alfred easily let go of the hatred and resentment towards him for all the atrocious things he had done?

"Sure I was angry and I did act in the heat of the moment and...I must admit that I was royally pissed off at what you did in 1814," Arthur flinched in his embrace. But Alfred held fast and gripped his lover tightly. He soothingly kissed his temple, "But after finally realizing the hell you might have gone through because of me...well...I felt really ashamed...I guess I deserve as much crap as the next nation and I knew what messes I was going to get into once I'm on my own...I was a coward for not letting you know I already forgiven you and still think of you..."

"...Alfred..." Arthur had never seen Alfred look so vulnerable at this moment.

"If I had the guts to tell you that sooner after the war instead of letting each opportunity slide each time we meet, then you wouldn't have suffered so much...you're the strong one, Arthur...it took me so long to work up the courage to ask you to forgive me all the while hoping for you to accept my feelings...when we got together in the rose garden at your place, that was the happiest moment of my life. It made me breathe easier that you still thought of me and not really...well...hate me. But I will tell you this…"

Alfred cupped Arthur's chin and kissed his lips.

"I may get pissed off at you and tease you like there's no tomorrow...but I can never ever hate you and I'll never let you go again. Because no matter what you did back then or what crazy thing you will do now, I will ALWAYS forgive you."

"But-"

"Enough already. You're so pessimistic. What's happened has happened. We've already created a beautiful new memory on my birthday and we have every day after to make new and better memories to look back on," Alfred's face turned serious, "We've already forgiven each other…so maybe it's time you start forgiving yourself…"

The last statement caused Arthur to think once again. What his lover said made sense…the terrible hidden feelings, the yearly recurring sickness, the nightmares he never told anyone else about…he was torturing and punishing himself for all the wrong reasons.

"It's…it's not to late to start, is it?" Arthur inquired softly.

"Of course not, I'm the hero so I'm always right!" Alfred chuckled.

Arthur felt a suffocating weight lifted off his chest at the obnoxiously confident words. Yes, this was something he could do. Learn to forgive himself…and to focus on the handsome American nation embracing him like the most precious treasure in the world.

"Thank you, Alfred…"

"What for, Arthur?"

"For opening my eyes…for loving me…but most importantly, for not giving up on me," Arthur nuzzled his head back on Alfred's chest, feeling the vestiges of exhaustion from their lovemaking starting to settle in. He closed his eyes and kissed his neck, "I have a feeling I won't be feeling quite so sick coming next year…"

_"It's all I know..."_

Alfred's heart did a happy somersault as he glanced at the sleepy nation nestled beside him.

"Does this mean that you'll definitely come to my future birthday parties from now on?" Alfred pressed, "Is that a promise?"

Arthur gave a minute nod.

"Yes...it's a promise, now please-"

"Hey, you reckon we can go to Disney World for the next one? I've already been to Disney Land countless times but I haven't been to Disney World in ages 'cause I always wanted you to come with me! I can show you all the best rides, shows and attractions and the fireworks are not to miss! I promise you won't regret it! Please?"

Arthur groaned and cracked an eye open. He was pleasantly sleepy and Alfred had the nerve to pester him about next year's birthday plans. But...a trip to the world famous resort park did sound tempting...he heard wonderful stories about the place...it would be a good excuse to go...not that it really interested him...honestly.

"Maybe…we'll see…now can we just-"

"Yay! You're the best, Arthur! Then you have to come to Disney Land when you visit next time just so you can-" Alfred whined when Arthur punched his forehead hard enough to make him wince, "Hey!"

"You're being too loud…I'm tired and you should be too. Now do as you're told. Lie down and go to sleep," Arthur irritably chastised.

Alfred fumed but he snuggled closer to Arthur after the older nation kissed his forehead in apology. Before long, Arthur drifted off in a deep slumber. The older nation always did fall asleep sooner than he did. Alfred took his time to observe Arthur as he slept. He smiled softly at the scene before him. He did look like an angel, looking so serene and appearing much younger than his years. Alfred couldn't believe that the nation before him was truly all his in body and soul.

Alfred realized that he never did properly thank Arthur for helping him organize the party and being present on his birthday. He decided a leisurely outing would be in the works tomorrow...hopefully the weather would be clear by then. The Conservatory Garden in Central Park would be the perfect venue. He had a good feeling Arthur would like the English Garden section since it would remind him of his precious rose garden back home. The summer flowers were often the most beautiful to look at and he hoped Arthur would think so too. If the weather wouldn't work out, then he could treat him for lunch in a small but popular cafe not far from home. Alfred had been there on occasions when he didn't feel like having hamburgers and milkshakes. The food there was fantastic and the cafe owner sourced a wide selection of tea and coffee. Feeling satisfied about tomorrow's plans to reward his lover, the superpower diverted his attention back to the still sleeping nation and intertwined his fingers with his.

"Hey Arthur," Alfred whispered softly, "Let's always make new memories together starting tomorrow…every day for eternity…"

Alfred nudged Arthur closer to his chest and kissed the crown of his head. He closed his heavy eyelids and drifted off to slumberland.

Unknown to the younger nation, Arthur did hear the gentle whispers and a rare beautiful smile appeared on his lips. Eternity didn't sound so bad if it meant having the sun-kissed American nation by his side to bicker with, to comfort, to laugh and cry with, to share the burdens with but most of all, to love with all his heart.

He could live with it.

He just couldn't wait for tomorrow to come...

_"It's all…I know…"_

The radio fell silent as the stars twinkled brightly in the night sky as the clouds rolled away, cleansing away the past demons lingering between the lovers nestled in the sheets to bring forth a bright future..._  
_

The End…for now :)

* * *

**Author's notes:** WAAAAA! I've done it! The story is officially done! I feel so satisfied now that I've finished it. I think it turned out well and I hope you guys think so too.

I'm thinking to write more since I enjoy this pairing so much since they can be portrayed as brothers or lovers. Hmmm…I wonder if I should make any other related fics to this story…or start on a different story...well nothing like some hot milk and timtams to mull over.

And I really wish I could go to Central Park if I were to go to USA. It all sounds beautiful especially the Conservatory Garden, which is part of the reason I added it in the end. I bet it is something England would like if he were real :) But I have been to Disney World back in 1994...boy...I should go there again since so much has changed since then!

Anyway, I sincerely hope you guys enjoyed reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it. As always, constructive criticism is welcome but NOT FLAMERS please! They will be used to cook my fried riiiice!

Until next time!


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